Saturday, January 13, 2007

Our kitty of perpetual patience

Catherine has not got a saint's name for nothing. She's one of the calmest, most patient cats I've ever met, a trait best illustrated by the list of things she has allowed G to do to her:

• Attach clip-on earrings to her ears
• Dress her in a Superman cape, a witch's hat and a scarf (not all at the same time)
• Put action figures astride her back as if they're riding her
• Pick up her (small) scratching post when she's curled up on top of it, then twirl in circles while singing "She's dancing, she's dancing!"
• Hug her, kiss her, squeeze her, jounce her, and fool with her paws
• All sorts of other indignities I can't recall at the moment

This is the resigned expression Catherine wears when G is carrying her around, which happens approximately 28274748 times a day:

Mind you, G does all this in a spirit of love and fun, but it still drives me bonkers at times. One of the sentences most frequently spoken in our house, right after "Please move your shoes/toys/coat/snack wrapper off the stairs before I fall and break my neck," is "Will you leave the poor cat alone?" On the rare occasions when Catherine does give G a little nip or scratch, I'm always firmly on Catherine's side, because you can bet that G deserved whatever she got and then some.

So let's all take a moment to recognize Catherine Marie _____, the Best Kitty Ever*. I hope she survives the rest of G's childhood without having a nervous breakdown.

*I gave her a middle name to add gravitas to scoldings. "Catherine Marie, stop eating that piece of paper!" has a weight and flow to it that plain old "Catherine" just can't achieve. Malcolm also has a middle name; it's James. Oh, hush, they're my cats and I can call them whatever I want. :P


FosterAbba said...

Three cheers for Catherine!

I once had a cat with extra toes who had very much the same personality with one important difference: he'd allow just about anyone to abuse him for a while, but when he finally got sick of it, he'd give a nasty-sounding warning meow to say the game is over.

If the abuser failed to heed the warning, the cat would scratch. Hard. He had the patience of an angel, but when he reached his limit, that was it..

Once, a friend's badly-behaved 2-year-old visited and spent the entire evening, despite numerous time-outs, tormenting the cat. Finally, when the cat had more than enough, he swatted the kid right across the chops -- with a velvet paw.

He slapped the kid so hard the kid fell down and started screaming. We all figured blood was going to be everywhere, but there wasn't a single scratch. The kid screamed bloody murder, but left the cat alone after that.

Well-heeled mom said...

Oh she is a sweet cat.

I scold my animals with middle names, too.