As the latest in our series of helpful do-it-yourself posts, we present:
How Not to Eat Dinner
1. Buy your child pizza at the Target snack bar.
2. Come home and eat a handful of goldfish crackers. Think about making dinner for yourself.
3. Eat some more goldfish crackers and realize you aren't really that hungry.
4. Wonder why as you continue to send an entire school of goldfish crackers to their doom.
5. Tell yourself that you really should eat a proper meal.
6. Decide to have steamed broccoli and carrots.
7. While they cook, eat a leftover Easter jelly bean.
8. Eat another jelly bean.
9. Eat another jelly bean.
10. Eat all the rest of the jelly beans.
11. Eat broccoli and carrots.
12. And half a can of black olives you found in the pantry when you were getting the goldfish.
13. Give the other half-can to the child.
14. Feel sick.