Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Maybe I can phone him in the afterlife

I got some good news yesterday, and as I was driving home, I thought, This is kind of a big deal. Maybe I ought to, I don't know, tell someone.

Then I drove on a little further and thought, Who would I tell?

I was stumped.

I could have told G, but it wouldn't have meant anything to her, plus her eyes tend to glaze over whenever I mention work. I could have called my mother, and she would have said, "That's great," but she wouldn't really have gotten it either. I briefly entertained the notion of going into Starbucks and paying one of the baristas to listen to my story, but decided it was a little too much. Better to save that sort of thing for later in life, after I become a crazy cat lady.

Of course, the person I wanted to tell, the person who would have understood and really been pleased, was P, but I couldn't. So in the end, I told no one.

I suppose this was a step up from what usually happens in situations like these, when I see or hear or do something and immediately think I've got to tell Peter -- oh. Yeah. Dammit. At least this time I managed to remember that he's dead, and therefore not available to chat about my day. It's amazing that I can still forget, but after someone's been in your life for as long as he was in mine, it must take more than a couple of years for it to really sink in that you'll never see or talk to that person again. Until you do, though, it feels like running into a brick wall all the time, when you least expect it.


Space Mom said...

As my Friend Becky says, "He's dead, not deaf!" YOu can still tell him! :)

Congrats on your good news

Pixilated Mum said...


I'm sorry. I agree with Space Mom. You can still tell him. But, yeah, I know it's not exactly the same, is it ....

You could post the good news ... ?

Humincat said...

Happy Mothers Day!! Hope you are having a lovely day!