Friday, August 15, 2008

High anxiety

G and I are going to visit my grandmother in Albuquerque next weekend. We're driving there with my dad -- 800 miles through the desert, woo! -- and then she and I are flying back early so I can get a filling and she can start school.

Now, I will confess here that I am an absolutely terrible air traveler. I am that person you don't want to be seated next to, the one who white-knuckles the armrests, jumps halfway out of her seat at every unexpected bump, and asks the cabin crew calm, rational questions like "WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?" However, this will be G's first time on a plane, and I want her to enjoy it, which means I can't act like a douche and sit there silently weeping during takeoff the way I usually do. So, I've bought a couple of self-help recordings on overcoming airplane anxiety, and I'm trying as hard as I can to get my head into a good place for this trip.

My favorite of these recordings is narrated by a posh, older-sounding Englishman whom I imagine looking somewhat like Edward Woodward from The Equalizer. I've listened to it so many times that I've come to think of "Edward" as a personal friend -- in fact, I would really like it if he could come on the plane with us and hold my hand for the entire flight while soothingly saying, "You must repeat to yourself, 'Turbulence is uncomfortable, but it is not dangerous.'" Sadly, I don't think that's a service I can order online.

Will all this preparation actually do any good? I have no idea. But I'll find out one way or another in 12 days, 11 hours and 50 minutes ... not that I'm counting or anything.


Humincat said...

Oh man! I love flying, prefer tremendously over driving. You could explain ahead of time that you are a bit nervous, but that you know it is just one of your odd irrationalities, not something based on any real fear, because she may notice your anxiety whether you discuss it or not. Good luck and have fun!

Anonymous said...

You can ask the pilots to put their flight deck conversations on one of the radio channels so that you can listen in on what's going on. This really helps me, as I have a sense of control over what's happening while in the air. You can even tell them that it's because it's your daughter's first time flying :)

Stella said...

... or you can do what I do and take the Amtrak! LOL

I am just like you when it comes to planes. I will fly when I absolutely must, but I hate it. I know it is the safest form of travel, but I hate it!

I think traveling with your daughter will help. Have a wonderful trip.

Shelley said...

One word for you: Wine!


I too am a non-flyer and have done my best not to fly at all for the past several years. So I wish I had more words of encouragement ...other than, you know it will be alright.

Sari said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sari said...

(Sorry, had to delete and re-post. I hate leaving a typo.)

I hate flying too. On every take-off, landing, and bump mid-flight, I am whispering Hail Mary's and Our Father's. I can't wait until we can be teleported somewhere. Of course that will have its own problems, like having your atoms scattered all over the universe (sorry, Star Trek geek coming out.) Anyway, best of luck on your trip. Hope your kiddo enjoys the flight.