Monday, April 27, 2009

Beware the borborygmi

Today's Word of the Day:


noun: A rumbling noise caused by the movement of gas through the intestines.

Personally, I think "borborygmus" sounds like the name of a prehistoric monster.

"Run, Chet! It's a borborygmus, and it looks hungry!"

"Looks like you got borborygmi in your back yard, ma'am. I'm gonna have to lay down some traps."

"As the juvenile borborygmi left the nest for the first time, the adult borborygmus kept a watchful eye for larger predators ..."

Tee hee!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The whole tooth and nothing but the tooth

A short review of root canals:

They suck. Don't get one.

Yes, yesterday morning I went to the dentist with a throbbing toothache, and five hours later I was at an endodontist's office having a root canal. I can't take regular novocaine because it has epinephrine in it, and the alternative anesthetic isn't as effective, so I ended up getting five injections (two before the procedure and three during it to "top up"), which was loads of fun, let me tell you. I'm not that bothered by needles, so I can't imagine what it would have been like for someone who is.

Anyway, the whole thing was quite unpleasant and I'm very sore and fragile-feeling and can't eat properly today, but even so, the aftermath hurts less than the toothache itself did. The downer is that he couldn't finish the whole procedure yesterday, so I have to go back next week to have my tooth reopened, the roots shaped and the packing stuff put in, and then one more time to get the actual crown.

Oh, and as I was leaving, all numb and puffy, he gave me a prescription for antibiotics, but said not to take them unless I notice swelling or redness. I hate when doctors do that. I don't want the responsibility of deciding whether I need medication or not -- you're the doctor, you tell me! What if I get an infection and don't realize it, and end up maimed or dead because I had the antibiotics and didn't take them? It could happen. (That said, I just checked out my mouth and I don't see anything even slightly abnormal. But I do have a headache which is clearly a rampaging brain disease. :P)

Of course I don't want to take them if I don't have to, since that's how antibiotic resistance happens, but I do question whether my degree in English literature qualifies me to make medical judgments. I'm thinking it probably doesn't. I can analyze the heck out of your short story, though. Ha.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

And now for something more cheerful

Totally fab video:

I wish life were really like that!

Tripping in the holes

Sometimes it amazes me that almost three years after P's death, I'm still uncovering new bits of loss. Little things; things I hadn't even realized I'd lost until I thought of them.

Take tonight, for example. I was reading my daily blogs, and I saw a comment from someone that began "My husband and I were lying in bed one night and talking about the kids ..." I thought I remember doing that, and then in the next instant, I will never do that again. And it's true. I can talk about G with friends and relatives and strangers on the Internet, but I will never, ever again lie in bed at night and discuss her -- her education, her activities, her friends, her future -- with her father, the only other person in the world who cares about her the way I do. It took my breath away to think about it.

This whole business of widowhood is like having your house robbed. When it first happens, you come home and see right away that there are empty spaces and useless, dangling wires where the television and stereo and computer used to be, and you flip out and call the police and there's a huge fuss. But then later, over weeks and months and years, you slowly realize that a lot more is missing than you saw at first glance. You go to put on that special necklace, the one you loved even though it only had sentimental value, and you search and search for it before realizing that they must have gotten that too. You need to hang up a picture and the toolbox is nowhere to be found. You go to make a smoothie one morning, and oh fuck, they even took the blender? Surely they wouldn't have taken something like that, would they?

Only they did. They took it all, big and small, important and insignificant.

Everything is gone.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Things you don't see every day

Today I saw a clown randomly walking down a busy street. No sign of a birthday party or circus anywhere nearby -- just a guy in full clown regalia, walking along as if he were heading for the bus stop or the supermarket.

"Hey, there's a clown!" I said to my friend, who was driving. Perhaps not the most astute remark, but what else can you say in that situation?

Anyway, now I want to go back at the same time tomorrow and see if he's there again. I'm imagining him making the same trek every day, sweating under his red nose and greasepaint, off to a destination only he knows. It's the March of the Lone Clown.