Sunday, May 07, 2006

Snapshots from the weekend

1. Your guest lecturer today is ...

At the birthday party we attended yesterday, the hired entertainment was a lady with a van full of small animals -- tortoises, lizards, snakes, bunnies, guinea pigs, chickens, etc. -- who gave a presentation and then set up a fenced area where the kids could chase, squeeze and terrorize interact with the creatures. Can you imagine what it's like to be a guinea pig running through a forest of human children's legs and carelessly stomping bare feet? The poor things must need Valium in their little upside-down water bottles.

Anyway, no sooner had the lady started setting up than G decided to share everything she knows about animals, which is quite a bit. She started out with "Mammals give live birth and have fur and warm blood," and pretty soon she was telling the crowd "The smallest rabbit is actually the pika." About that time, I slipped up behind her, leaned close to her ear, and asked her to please can the science lecture so the animal lady could do her job. She complied, and the rest of the presentation went smoothly ... until we got to the petting part and discovered that G is terrified of chickens. I'm not too keen on them myself, but she was climbing chairs and shrieking like a caricature of a housewife who's spotted a mouse. Note to self: do not move to the country and start a chicken farm.

2. And then I hit the Shuffle button.

This morning, while in the shower, G treated us to the following song medley: "Rock and Roll All Night," "Amazing Grace," "Bohemian Rhapsody" and some other song by Queen. What ever happened to the Sesame Street theme song? And what was a hymn doing in the middle of all that classic rock?

3. Someone's killed the Teletubbies!

Later in the day, I was carrying the trash out, and on the sidewalk next door, I saw Tinky Winky, Laa-Laa and Po lying in a row on their backs, stubby little legs pointed up to the sky, as if they'd all been offed by a mad Teletubby-hater. Upon closer inspection, they turned out to be 2-foot-tall stuffed dolls that had been put out along with some other junk, probably in the hopes that someone would come along and claim them. It was wonderfully surreal. I wish I'd taken a picture.

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