Friday, November 10, 2006

Holy crap

On a lighter note, G and I had some time to kill this morning -- our parking lot was being resurfaced, and we had to get the car out of there by 7:30, an hour and a half before it was time to drop her off for the day. We went out for breakfast and then stopped at Target, that great waster of time and money. While we were there, G asked if she could have a new Barbie and I said she could, so she chose this:



At first glance, it looks like a basic Barbie with a dog, and that's what I thought it was, at least until we got to the checkout and G started reading the back of the package. In reality, Barbie Forever with Tanner is all about poop. Dog poop, to be specific. You lift Tanner's tail; her mouth opens; you feed in a brown plastic "dog biscuit" (strangely heavy, like a piece of lead shot); and then you push down on the tail and the biscuit falls out of Tanner's ass.

Let me repeat that. THE BISCUIT FALLS OUT OF THE DOG'S ASS.

So after this semi-realistic act of excretion is complete, you use Barbie's magnetic stick to scoop up the ass biscuit and deposit it in a little plastic trash can that comes with the set. And then guess what? You dump it out and feed it to the dog again.

Let me repeat that. YOU FEED IT TO THE DOG AGAIN

As someone who works in marketing, I can't help imagining the brainstorming session that led to the development of this toy. "Okay, we need to get a new Barbie on the market in time for Christmas. What can we package it with? ... A pet? Great! Little girls love pets! But how can we differentiate it from our 298748387 other Barbies that also come with pets? I know! We'll have it eat its own poop! Yeah! They'll go crazy for that!"

I actually went ahead and bought the Barbie anyway, because I have a sick sense of humor and was groaning "Ewww!" through my laughter. G promptly dubbed the dog "Tanner the Pooping Dog" and could not wait to get in and show it to the people who watch her while I'm at work. I guess it's not any grosser than those dolls that drink and pee, but man!

1 comment:

FosterAbba said...

Your description of that dog is hysterical. I had no idea they made such toys.