Thursday, September 28, 2006

Tub full of trouble

When G was two, she had a bath every night before bed. She'd splash around happily while I washed her, and then she'd get out all clean and soapy-smelling and let me wrap her in a hooded towel before putting on her fuzzy pink footie PJs. She loved bathtime, and so did I.

Fast-forward five years, and bathing is one of the most contentious issues here in the Fortress o' Fights. I think G should take a shower at least every other day and wash her hair at least twice a week. She thinks she should get into a tub with half a bottle of bubble bath and a lot of Polly Pockets in it once every ten days or so, play for an hour, flood the bathroom floor and still be dry above the shoulders when she gets out. You might say we have philosophical differences on the subject. You might also say it's driving me batshit insane.

I swear I do everything I can to make it a less traumatic experience for both of us. I try to give her plenty of warning before a bath/shower. I announce "Time to get undressed" as cheerfully as I can. I offer to let her bring a reasonable number of toys in with her. And the next thing I know, she's screaming, running away, slamming her bedroom door in my face and leaning on it so I can't get in.

I really don't see why it has to be such a huge deal. It wouldn't be a huge deal if she'd just get in the frigging shower and wash like a normal person. I keep telling her, "Look, G, all you have to do is get wet, soap your hair, soap your body, and rinse. If you do that, you can be out of here in 15 minutes, maybe less. If you have a fit, it's going to take forever." My logic falls on deaf ears every time ... or maybe she just can't hear me over the screams. Argh! How much longer until this phase ends?

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