Today I felt icky all day because I was wearing my Fat Sweater. This is not like my Fat Pants, which are the pants I keep around to wear when I'm fatter than usual and my other pants don't fit. This is a sweater that makes me look fat. It's a perfectly nice sweater from the Gap -- longish and ribbed, with a hood -- but I didn't try it on before I bought it, and so I didn't know that every time I wore it I would look the way I did when I was five months pregnant and still deluding myself into thinking that I didn't need maternity clothes. (I was so against the idea of spending money on maternity clothes that I convinced myself I could just buy regular clothes in larger sizes, and then I would be able to keep wearing them after the baby came, at least until I could fit into my size 1 skirts again, hahahaha. All that happened was that I looked like a tool for several months before I finally broke down and bought some real maternity shirts that covered me properly. And I never wore those extra-large regular clothes again. And I never fit into my old clothes again, either.) I know I should just throw the Fat Sweater away, or give it to a charity that can pass it on to someone whose body it flatters more than it does mine, but I paid hard-earned money for it, and it's still a perfectly good sweater, dammit. (Yeah. Good and fat.)
Wearing the Fat Sweater was not the only clothing-related faux pas I made today. I also forgot that G was supposed to wear pajamas to school for the first day of Spirit Week. She forgot too, and neither of us remembered until she got to the school gate, saw the other kids, and came sprinting back to the car in tears, pleading with me to take her home so she could change. I was ready to cry too, she was so upset, but it was 8:40, the second bell had already rung, and I had a meeting at 9:00. There just wasn't time for either of us to go home and come back, so I sent her back up the sidewalk still sobbing, and drove away feeling like a heel. Luckily, she'd gotten over it long before I picked her up, and as soon as we came home we laid out her outfit for tomorrow (Movie Star Day) so there could be no mistakes in the morning. We've still got Twin Day, Blue Day and some other day to get through this week. I hope I survive.