Dear Boy With the Skateboard,
I don't want to be one of those killjoy adults who won't let the kids have their fun. I understand that you are just skateboarding and not vandalizing my car or spraying the walls with graffiti. And I know that in this lovely complex of ours, where every inch of ground is sporting a stream or a waterfall or a pond full of ducks, there's really no place for you to skateboard but in the parking lot. But you skateboard directly under my bedroom window all weekend long, and every time I hear an ollie or a nosegrind, I want to come downstairs and break your board over your head like Bruce Lee smashing a plank. For your health and my sanity, I recommend you roll on down to the park across the street and practice your tricks there.
Yours in ever-decreasing patience,
The Next-Door Neighbor