I was attacked by a vampire on Tuesday evening. I knew I shouldn't have been out at sunset, but I had to take G to her Girl Scout meeting, and it was only for 10 minutes, and I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, and ...
Bam. Mosquito bite on the arm.
I'm super-sensitive to mosquitoes, and my encounter with Count Bugula left me not just with an ordinary bite, but with a 4-, maybe 5-inch-wide circle of hot, red, swollen puffiness just below my right elbow. By yesterday afternoon, I was ready to crawl out of my skin from the itching -- it itched so much that I had phantom itching all the way up to my shoulder -- and I think I may have horrified a friend by expressing a desire to put a lit cigarette out on the bite itself. Hey, anything to take my mind off the itch for a minute or two.
So on my way home from work, I stopped at the drugstore and looked at all the insect-bite ointments, hoping they might have one that contained morphine. At last, I picked out something called "Chiggerex," mainly because the label promised that I could apply it as often as needed, and I was pretty sure I was going to need it a lot. Never mind that "one to three times a day" business; I was prepared to marry Chiggerex and have its babies if it would make me feel better. The instant I got to the car, I tore the safety seal off and slathered the stuff all over my poor insulted flesh before I even put the key in the ignition, and ... yeah. It helped for about five minutes, and then I was miserable again. Oh, Chiggerex, you heartbreaker, you.
Since then, I've tried baking-soda plasters, cold compresses, white vinegar, and pretty much every other home remedy known to mankind, and none of them have done diddly squat. I woke up in a frenzy of itching at 5:30 this morning and I really, really, really hope that doesn't happen again tonight. That was bad. (But the moment earlier today when I gave in to temptation and let myself scratch the living heck out of it for a full 30 seconds? That was freaking orgasmic.)
Anyway, if it's not better by tomorrow, I guess I'm going to have to go back and look for some Benadryl cream -- I didn't get that the first time because I already take Claritin for my spring allergies, and I didn't want to start randomly mixing over-the-counter drugs. I purposely skipped the Claritin today, though, so hopefully it should be out of my system. All things considered, I'd a lot rather sneeze than itch.