Thursday, March 27, 2008

Bloodsucker

I was attacked by a vampire on Tuesday evening. I knew I shouldn't have been out at sunset, but I had to take G to her Girl Scout meeting, and it was only for 10 minutes, and I was wearing a long-sleeved shirt, and ...

Bam. Mosquito bite on the arm.

I'm super-sensitive to mosquitoes, and my encounter with Count Bugula left me not just with an ordinary bite, but with a 4-, maybe 5-inch-wide circle of hot, red, swollen puffiness just below my right elbow. By yesterday afternoon, I was ready to crawl out of my skin from the itching -- it itched so much that I had phantom itching all the way up to my shoulder -- and I think I may have horrified a friend by expressing a desire to put a lit cigarette out on the bite itself. Hey, anything to take my mind off the itch for a minute or two.

So on my way home from work, I stopped at the drugstore and looked at all the insect-bite ointments, hoping they might have one that contained morphine. At last, I picked out something called "Chiggerex," mainly because the label promised that I could apply it as often as needed, and I was pretty sure I was going to need it a lot. Never mind that "one to three times a day" business; I was prepared to marry Chiggerex and have its babies if it would make me feel better. The instant I got to the car, I tore the safety seal off and slathered the stuff all over my poor insulted flesh before I even put the key in the ignition, and ... yeah. It helped for about five minutes, and then I was miserable again. Oh, Chiggerex, you heartbreaker, you.

Since then, I've tried baking-soda plasters, cold compresses, white vinegar, and pretty much every other home remedy known to mankind, and none of them have done diddly squat. I woke up in a frenzy of itching at 5:30 this morning and I really, really, really hope that doesn't happen again tonight. That was bad. (But the moment earlier today when I gave in to temptation and let myself scratch the living heck out of it for a full 30 seconds? That was freaking orgasmic.)

Anyway, if it's not better by tomorrow, I guess I'm going to have to go back and look for some Benadryl cream -- I didn't get that the first time because I already take Claritin for my spring allergies, and I didn't want to start randomly mixing over-the-counter drugs. I purposely skipped the Claritin today, though, so hopefully it should be out of my system. All things considered, I'd a lot rather sneeze than itch.

9 comments:

GR in DC said...

You poor thing - that sounds miserable and much worse than a "normal" mosquito bite! Good luck with the Benadryl.

All Adither said...

Itching is just the worst. When I was pregnant with my kids I got all over body eczema that was pure, miserable, awful hell. Also, I don't think mixing Claritin and Benadryl cream would be a problem. I've read up on it a bit. Some people even take both orally. You might want to Google it though as I'm obviously not a doctor and my advice is pretty much worthless.

Mary said...

Have you tried mixing some water and meat tenderizer? I think it works best when you put it on immediately, but it's worht a shot

Pixilated Mum said...

When I lived in the East Coast, where mosquitoes were the size of bi-planes, I'd put mint toothpaste on my skeeter bites.

Minty fresh!

Hope you feel better, girl.

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